Emotions are Okay
Let’s teach our children that emotions are okay.
As parents, we wear many hats—teachers, role models, caregivers, and cheerleaders. But when it comes to helping our children navigate their emotions, we also take on the role of the “emotional guides”. Social-emotional learning (SEL) provides a framework not only for schools but also for families to nurture emotional intelligence in children. The question is: how can we, as parents, translate the research and evidence-based practices into practical tools for our children’s daily life? When we look at our children, we’re not just seeing who they are today but also who they’ll become. Every tantrum, meltdown, outburst is an opportunity for us to shape the resilient and emotionally intelligent adults they’ll become. Our children often express their big emotions with big actions, and it’s our job to meet them where they are without minimizing their feelings.
It’s essential to teach kids that emotions are okay—whether it’s anger, sadness, or frustration—but harmful actions, such as physical aggression are not. This isn’t about placating or suppressing feelings; it’s about helping them process and understand these feelings.
It’s about teaching them that while their emotions are okay, they must learn safe and constructive ways to express them
Children are always watching. They don’t respond to a “do as I say, not as I do” approach. Instead, they mimic how we handle stress, resolve conflicts, and treat others. If we react to frustration by yelling, they’ll likely do the same. If we demonstrate patience and problem-solving, they’ll begin to develop those skills, too. Our children feed off of our emotions.
Create a home environment where feelings can be openly discussed without fear of judgment. Let your child know it’s safe to talk about their struggles. When kids feel accepted for who they are, they’re more likely to develop emotional resilience and confidence. Our focus should be emotional resilience. We can teach our children how to do that very simply by:
Labeling and Validating Emotions: Help your child name their feelings and let them know it’s okay to feel that way. “It looks like you’re feeling angry. Can you tell me why?”
Modeling Emotional Regulation: Show your child how you manage your own emotions. “I’m feeling frustrated right now, so I’m going to take a deep breath to calm down.”
Set Clear Expectations: Make sure your child understands the rules and the consequences of their actions. Keep expectations age-appropriate and consistent.
Offer Problem-Solving Opportunities: Instead of solving problems for your child, guide them through the process. Ask, “What could we do to fix this together?”
Encourage Non-Technology Solutions: If your child is upset, suggest a calming activity like drawing, playing with sensory toys, or practicing deep breathing rather than turning to a screen.
Be Patient: Emotional development takes time. Celebrate small victories and keep building on them.
Parenting is a journey, and navigating the ups and downs of childhood emotions is a key part of that. By focusing on SEL, you’re giving your child tools that will benefit them for a lifetime. Remember, they’re learning not only from what you say but also from how you act.
It would be great if we can create a world where our children feel safe to explore their emotions, understand their feelings, and grow into compassionate, self-aware adults.
So let’s learn to “Change our channel together”
